How do you read a newspaper?

…or more accurately, how do I do it? And do I always do it the same way or does it depend on which paper I’m reading? I read The Hamilton Spectator at lunch yesterday. I’ve always liked reading the newspaper partly because you never know what’s in there, what might catch your eye, what you might read. It’s mildly adventurous. I’m interested as much in what I don’t read as in what I do read. I like the role that headlines play and photos and what draws you in and gets you to read something you might not normally read. I read newspapers in a totally unsystematic way and word for word, I doubt if I read even 1/100th of what’s there…

How did I experience Thursday November 17th 2005 through The Hamilton Spectator? There were four articles on the front page. Two were stories I’d already heard about on the radio so I didn’t read them: Human bird flu in China & Pearson airport landing fees (I figured the airport story would have a Hamilton angle on how Toronto’s misfortune could be Hamilton’s gain and sure enough on the back page the continuation of the A1 story was subtitled “Opportunities for Hamilton” which I didn’t read either). The story on the Lego vs. Megablocks courtcase didn’t really interest me and the “top” story “Test of Nerves: Meet-the-teacher night” made me laugh a little…I read a bit of it because I’m teaching an education course right now so I feel it’s my duty to keep up on news related to education...The article had bullet points & side bars to make it easy to read so I guess I skimmed it…

I didn’t read the article on deamalgamation on page A3 or the article called “Autistic kids love haven in school” (despite my earlier statement about keeping up on education issues). I skipped all the ads.

I did read an article called “Students’ lives upset by tornado fallout” which was about how a program for learning disabled adults is being moved to another school because the school that got hit by the tornado last week is closed and those kids have to be moved into the school where the learning disabled adults are now…Anyway the story was really about how difficult change is for learning disabled adults and how people think it’s disrespectful to create unnecessary stress in their lives. I read the story in part because it had a nice photo (a family portrait of parents with their learning disabled daughter) and because one of my students had just done a teaching session in class on advocacy for disabled adults. I was compelled to read the story!

I glanced at the story on the facing page which mostly consisted of maps and info. about local Santa Claus parades. The Hamilton parade route is really close to my house so it’s gtk when it is so I can understand why there’s sudden chaos on my street.

I read an article on the next page called “Hit by tornado trauma”. This story picked up on the lives of several people whose homes were damaged by the tornado & how they are not sleeping well because we’ve had very high winds ever since…

Probably the most memorable and interesting piece of info. came out of this article. According to the “warning preparedness meteorologist” who was quoted, November is a transition month between summer & winter. It's also known as the high-wind month and mariners call the November winds "The Witches of November" because of the howling sound the November winds make when they blow through the rigging on ships...

I skipped the next bunch of articles and then read one on A12 called “Mom shames aimless daughter” partly because it had a photo of a mom & daughter holding a hand printed sign that said “I don’t do my homework and I act up in school so my parents are preparing me for my future…will work for food”. So I was reading the photo and figured I should read the article. It was about a mom who made her daughter hold this sign while standing on a street corner (in Oklahoma City) as punishment. Public response was mixed. Someone called the Children’s Aid on the mom and accused her of psychological abuse…Apparently the girl has been well behaved since the event.

I was too tired to read the article on the facing page called “Not enough sleep for 3 million”…I guffawed at the “Drug could help drop spare tire pounds quickly” but didn’t read it. I did read the article on the same page (A14) called “Hey, it’s Shirtless Guy!” and it made me laugh out loud and disturb my coworkers. It was a campus-life type story about a guy who doesn’t wear a shirt at his university. He colours his nipples for various occasions and wears wrap-around sunglasses. He also has a chin beard. Some profs. ask him to put on a shirt in class (which he does). Apparently there is a club devoted to him at the school – the “Club Dedicated to the Fellow Without a Shirt” and he’s a school celebrity…I guess can argue that this article is also work-related for me and that’s why I read it (??).

I didn’t read the business page but I did think that Stelco’s court-appointed monitor, Alex Morrison, looked a little like a young Conrad Black…

I read one of the editorials – “The Net stays in good hands” about the World Symposium on the Information Society & I read a couple of the letters to the editor – usually one of my favourite parts of the paper and with the Spec sometimes I even know the people who’ve written the letters!! But not today…and they weren’t great letters and that was it. I flipped through the sports & the entertainment sections and read a little about the romance between Cathy Jones and Tom Wilson – for no reason except that I see Tom Wilson walking down Locke Street all the time. I also looked at the review for Man of La Mancha which is playing at some theatre in Burlington and I thought that that was an interesting real-life coincidence and pulls DQ back into the picture (I like that)!!

How do you read a newspaper?